Dear Penis,
I don\'t think I like anymore,
You used to watch me shave,
Now all u do is stare at the floor.
Oh dear Penis,
I don\'t like you anymore.

It used to be u and me,
A paper towel, and a dirty magazine,
That\'s all we needed to get by.
Now it seems things have changed,
I think that your the one to blame.
Dear Penis,
I don\'t like u anymore.

Now he sings,

Dear Rodney,
I don\'t think I like u anymore,
\'Cause when u get to drinkin\'
You put me places I\'ve never been before.
Dear Rodney,
I dont like u anymore.

Why can\'t we just get a grip,
On our man to hand relationship.
Come to terms with truly how we feel.
If we put our heads together,
We\'d just stay home forever,
Dear Penis,
I think I like you after all.

Oh and Rodney,
While yer shavin\',
Shave my balls.